Why NO one should believe anything FOX news tells you - GOP Primary

Tonight, FOX news brought the candidates onto a stage, filled with random Floridian voters. Great.
But FOX asked these voters questions by raising hands.
I guess they haven't ever heard of something called peer pressure!

Americans are already notoriously dumb people who listen to what they're told, and follow what others with no question. How stupid is it to put a bunch of these same people in one room, on national TV, IN FRONT OF THE CANDIDATE. HELLO?! Obviously they will agree with whoever is in front of them! Need I say more?

Not to mention the fact that there were only 2/4 major candidates.

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Let me write a story based on a sentence you send me!

To practice my freelance writing, i'm selling personalized stories of at least 300 words each for $3.99 each!
I figure it'll be a nice pastime! Here's the first story I wrote:

Elizabeth realized she had made a big mistake moving to this alternate universe because her life had been much better in the universe she came from. She had thought the new universe would be awesome, since she had been born into a world where kids sit for 6 hours a day in school, being taught useless information that would be easily retrievable from your local Wikipedia page. Now, in a world without teachers, she was surrounded by empty headed-primitive minds who couldn’t tell you what 2 + 4 is if their life depended on it. As she walked through the streets of her small Connecticut town, there were no cars. There were no power lines. There were no obnoxious businesspeople talking to angry clients on their iPhones. In fact, there were no signs of any electronics at all. When she had wished for a world without teachers, she hadn’t realized that without teaching, there wouldn’t be most of the technological advancements that she had taken for granted her entire life. In this universe, the only inventions were created by the oddball geniuses that would appear every century or so. Saddened, she walked back to her home, lost in a world without knowledge, and learned to accept it.

Give it a go!

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iFlop - Mini!

I finished my first prototype to the left, glued together and final, but it was a bit TOO obnoxious, so I created the iFlop Mini, which is below! I decided to sell the mini and keep the original because of its antiquity, but you can buy the functional mini by clicking these few words!

The iPod shuffle is 2GB and comes with the cable!

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A guy walks out of a bank.......

I wrote a small play for creative writing and there's no use keeping it locked away on my computer! So why not post it!

[Dimitri, notorious bank robber of Franklin County, NH, walks into yet another bank]

[Dimitri] All right, you know the drill, EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND! And tellers, i’m no idiot. DONT hit that pretty little red button under the desk and I dont want to see anything but money go into those bags! Dont worry, i’m no octopus, i’ll live without it.

[Continuing] Oh, and while we’re here, someone turn up the heat! Here I am, coming inside from a below freezing temperatures, and this here bank is so cheap that it cant even turn the heat above 50!

[Dimitri] Dude! GET UP AND TURN UP THE HEAT!

[Dude] Yes. Ok. Sure. Sorry. I’ll listen. There. Done. Getting back on the floor.

[Now really rambling] That’s more like it! Now. [Pause] You know what? Before I leave here today, you’re all going to learn the etiquette of bank robbery. So here’s some life lessons so the rest of you dimwitts dont end up like this guy, about to be knocked unconscious by yours truly.

Lesson 1: When a bank robber moseys on in, you listen to the guy so you dont get shot! Like, even if the guy’s holding a nerf gun, be scared! Those things hurt, man!

Lesson 2: When a bank robber asks the room a generalized question, the closest person [glares at “Dude”] gets up and does what he says!

[Teller 3 starts making impatient and aggravated sighs]

[Changes tone and becomes hurt] You people need to learn this stuff! Like, here I am, trying to make a living, and you’re all being so rude to me! It really does get to me, man! You dont understand! You think I want to walk into a bank and risk getting arrested?! You dont know the stress I’m under! Why dont you take that into consideration next time you’re in a bank and someone wearing a mask comes in! Put yourself in his slash her shoes and imagi-- [cut off]

[Teller 3] Can we JUST give you your money?! I have a 3:30 appointment at the nail salon and I KIND of want to leave!

[Dimitri] Oh, all right. You’ve heard me lecture for long enough. And here, put the money in this reusable bag. I wouldn’t want to harm the environment - even if these bags are made with the same thing as the rest of em......

[Teller 3 is glad to see that Dimitri cares for the environment, so she grabs as much money as possible.]
[Teller 3] Here you are, no inks, no buttons, whole 9 yards. We get the money back from the Federal Reserve anyway. And hell, they just print some more out. [Sigh]

[Dimitri] DOPE, PCE

[Dimitri walks out of the bank, stops, collapses of a stroke.]

[Some guy in the distance] He died on the way to the hospital and left his cash, which was deemed unsuspicious since it was in a reusable bag, which would help his 8 kids go through college and start their life anew.

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Who's winning the presidential campaign of 2012? Youtube knows.

That's right.
Ron Paul is.
By FAR.


(To anyone willing to argue, Rick Perry skewed the video views with his anti gay advertisement, so a smaller sample size is shown in the video views category. No one likes him anyway. Dr. Paul wins if you disregard Perry because of that particular video anyway.)


See the interactive graph here:
youtube.com/politics

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Ebay, at its finest.

So I discovered a practically hidden category on ebay...
No, it's not the "Adult" section.

"Weird Stuff." The category righteously defines the obscure items listed here.
Here are a few that stood out. Feel free to buy any of them, because I dont think i'll be reaching for my wallet any time soon.



This 1960s....um....crazy laughing lady thing is a pretty $25,000

"Life-Sized Shakin' Butler - Shakes When You Pass!" for a nice $995

"Our beautiful hand crafted one piece dungeon, is three pieces of furniture in one.This piece is a multi-position St Andrews cross, table, and stand, all in one. It is capable of being used as a fully functional cross with movable head cushion, and removable foot board. And in a matter of seconds can be changed to a table. But, what really makes this piece unique is that it can be used in every position between cross and table. To make it even better, the head pad can be moved to the side to turn it into a very nice side ways stand. Let your imagination run wild. You will find new uses for this piece for months to come!" Only 870!

"Do u wish for anything from the mighty lord?As Jewish believe if you put your wish on a note and put it inside the kotel(western wall) the wish will come real.If u want we will take your wish and put it as close as we can to god.Send me a wish by mail or message me, And in 48 hours with in payment your wish will be on a note in the western holly wall (the kotel) of the grate temple." $2000, but um. Whoops! Forgot to mention that you have to move the building out! "The winning buyer will incur cost to have the building moved or may disassemble and reconstruct on their location. Seller incurs no cost for removal"  For a bit over $20,000, this Triceratops replica skull could be yours. What a conversation starter that would be...... Honorable mention: "Be my facebook friend," which sold for a pretty penny.

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An update on why there have been no updates

Since i've last posted, I have had a baby sister, countless projects and family visits.
But that's enough on my life. Back to blogging!

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